The Counselling Relationship
Something that I strive towards to developing with all my clients is a trusting, secure and safe counselling relationship. We work towards clearly defined boundaries so that either of us know what to expect from one session to the next. An important part of this is honesty and openness. Honesty fosters trust and a belief in one another. A belief that there will be no big unexpected surprises. Also that I will always be there to support you, whatever is raised during our sessions. Openness helps develop our relationship. I will display this by being predictable in our interactions as we get to know each other.
Once our relationship feels secure we will both notice a change in the feeling present within a session. Gradually, it will probably be the case that we each start to know how we are feeling, sometimes without saying anything. It can be an amazing place in a relationship. This is also where tangible therapeutic change has the opportunity to happen. The openness that I mentioned earlier is where occasionally I may challenge some of your beliefs or behaviours, as we start to work together more integratively. I will always do this appropriately, at a time that I feel will not be unsafe or surprising for you.
A Technical Bit
Working together, with a strong relationship and knowing what somebody is thinking or feeling is special. It can be termed ‘relational depth’ and was termed by Mick Cooper who explains the concept in this YouTube video. Moments of relational depth last for varying amounts of time. The connectedness can be powerful, or not. However it will be noticeable and appreciated by you and I. Furthermore, it is a sign that opportunities are arising in which real change is possible.